The South Florida (Cuban) Diet

Breakfast:




Café con Leche: Breakfast is the most important meal of the morning. Café con Leche, the life's blood of

the Cuban breakfast and must always be made with milk in order to get that feeling that you ate something actually full of fiber. . Nothing will start to burn fat and jump start your metabolism quicker than caffeine and calcium. Café con leche is to the Cuban child what a triple-shot, double vanilla nonfat_mocha latte dark is to a member of corporate America .



Cuban Tortilla: (not to be confused with a Mexican tortilla): Take beaten eggs, add anything they could find in the " Frigidaire " , fry it up in a pan and call it a tortilla. Insert this egg concoction and put it between two eight inch slices of Cuban bread (cannot be substituted by whole wheat bread or you will not get the benefits of the chemical breakdown ). Cubans call this Pan con Tortilla (Carbohydrates, Protein, Starch and Cholesterol all rolled up into something that gives you more energy than the strongest protein power bar. Note: It is a proven fact that when you combine carbohydrates, protein, fat, starch and cholesterol in just the right combination, they all counteract each other and have absolutely no detrimental effect on the human body. Of course, that human body has to be 100% Cuban.



We know this to be true scientific fact "Porque en Cuba , nadie padecía de colesterol !"



LUNCH & DINNER:





RICE: Every meal must contain rice. Rice a great source of fiber, is low in fat, has no cholesterol and is rich in Vitamin B1, B6, and B12. So what if it has carbs. Remember, Dr Atkins se murió por no comer arroz. Add lots of salt (the body can't live without sodium) and aceite de oliva Goya (or whichever is on sale at Navarro) or manteca to add flavor and make it shine (it's cholesterol free.)



BEANS: High in protein and fiber, black beans contain the highest level of iron than any other bean followed by lentejas, chicharos y frijoles colorados . Rice without black beans is like yuca without mojo, palomilla without the cebollita, and arroz con pollo without the pitipois; it is like a day without sunshine and therefore required in your daily diet.





PLATANO MADURO: A mainstay in the South Florida Diet. This will surprise you. Plantains contain 8 vitamins and 7 minerals. High in Vitamins A and C as well as Potassium, 4g of Fiber and 2.5g of protein per serving . Second helping anyone? In order to maximize your diet, during the first week, pat dry the manteca from the platanitos on two sheets of Bounty.



MEAT: Ropa Vieja, Palomilla Steak, Picadillo, and Boliche are all ATKINS-friendly and the protein component of the Cuban Diet. Eat to your heart's delight.



CHICKEN & FISH: White meat is better for you than red meat, so abuela's portions apply to any chicken or fish meals: arroz con pollo, camarones enchilados, o un parguito frito are all permitted in large (pre-Castro) quantities.





DESSERT:





GUAVA: Guayaba is a fruit, fruits are an important part of any diet, Mango, Papaya, Guanabana, etc. Guayaba is rich in Vitamin A and C and high in fiber, 9 grams! Add a little dairy (cream cheese) and you have a great nutritionally balanced dessert.



FLAN: You may incorporate Flan into your diet after week 2. Similar to crème brulee or natilla, Flan is a gift from Heaven that, along with a cafecito cubano, provides a quick energy boost after any meal to keep your metabolism fired up the Cuban way.



LECHE CONDENSADA: Ah! Dairy's Best, the Queen of Dairy, a beautiful Elmer's glue type of concoction created by man but sweetened by the gods. Created with the purpose of mixing with other main food groups, like Malta or Pepsi, to make a heavenly creation. Medically a necessary component of the diet in order to prevent your blood sugar level from getting too low.



SNACKS:



ESPRESSO: Ah, cafecito cubano! Also referred to as "Cuban petroleum" or "Cuban cocaine," this is a generational diet secret. It runs through the veins of Cubans everywhere and look how good we look!!! Good at any time. It increases the metabolism so that you continue burning up all those extra calories throughout the day. For maximum effect, consume while smoking a Churchill tabaco while walking it off in Calle Ocho. This will kick start your Cuban Diet!



PASTELITOS: You may slowly include these into your diet on week 4. Pastelitos, brazo gitanos, merenguitos, éclairs, etc. The sugar in these fiber-rich snacks will ensure your metabolism continues to peak during week 4. Pastelitos, specially the sweet ones, will boost up your energy and ensure thhose those extra pounds keep melting away.



MOJITOS: A great happy-hour favorite, the lemon is a natural diuretic and the mint is an anti-inflamatory. No Fat, No Cholesterol!





EXCERCISE:





For the South Florida Cuban Diet or any diet to be effective, you must incorporate excercise as part of your daily routine. Therefore, we recommend the following program:



Every Morning: Walk back and forth to and from your radio to change the dial between "El Mikimbin De Miami" and "El Vacilon De la Manana" Do this at least 5 times every 15 minutes before your cafe con leche and pan con tortilla breakfast.



Monday: Pick up Abuela at her "Plan Ocho" apartment, take her to 1) pick up her "chequecito"at the welfare office; 2) pick up her "sellitos" at the food stamp office; 3) to lunch with her amigas at "el comedor de los viejitos"; 4) to the clinica (combine with snack hour since they will serve cafecito and pastelitos); and finally 5) go to the pharmacy to stock up on Vickspaporub or Pomada China.



Wednesday: Dance classes at "Salsa Lovers" to learn how to dance Salsa, Casino, Rueda, Bachata and, of course, Reggaeton! 2 hours of this and your metabolism will hit the roof!!! Have two cafecitos before dance class for maximum fat burning effect.



Friday: Happy hour at Alcazaba, Mystique, La Covacha, Cafe Cristal or any salsa lounge for the maximum cardio workout. Remember to always have the two cafecitos before the workout and drink plenty of mojitos to stay hydrated.



Saturday: Grocery Shopping at Sedano's. Make sure that you walk up and down every aisle at least twice and don't forget any of the your diet staple foods. Don't run out of platanos, cascos de guayaba, laticas de salchichas vienna , mojo criollo, malta and cerveza Llave o la de la Munequita.



Sunday: Go to church at La Ermita De La Caridad. You will have to park very far away and walk about 3 miles across the parking lot because every Sunday "estan celebrando una misa especial" for whatever Saint whose day it happens to be. If you are lucky, you will get there in time for the "procesion" to burn extra calories.



And remember, it is not a "Diet" - it's a lifestyle...!!! A disfrutar se ha dicho y a ponerse en buen shape...!!!